Danah and I are excited to announce that we are having a baby girl that is due April 3rd! The night that Danah told me that we were pregnant is a night I will never forget. I have never felt such pride going through my entire being knowing that I was going to be a dad. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think about anything else, and there was no fear of what was yet to come.
Then time went by and the “what if” crept in. What if I have multiple sleepless nights in a row and am not able to be my best at work the next day? What if I don’t know what to do when she is sick? What if we don’t have enough money to afford daycare? Do we have a daycare? How much do babies eat? Should we get a doctor for her? When was the last time I went to the doctor? You can see how I quickly devolved over a short period of time.
A few weeks after we found out we were pregnant, I had the opportunity to participate in a team building activity with the schools I work at. One of the pieces of equipment at the team building facilities is called, “The Leap of Faith”. If you know Danah and I, she is the adrenaline junkie and I prefer to have my feet on the ground. I went back and forth between feelings of, I got this and I’m good here on the ground. Then the group instructor stated something that stopped me in my tracks. He said, “When you do the leap of faith, you do it for someone else and you leave something behind.” I instantly thought of our beautiful baby girl. What do I want for her? I want her to be fearless and do what she is afraid to do, I want her to be proud, I want her to lead others by her actions, I want her to throw love and kindness around like confetti, and I want her to pursue everything she wants in life even when it seems difficult or impossible.
So I made the decision to jump. It was amazing how when I stopped thinking of myself and did the leap for her how my anxiety and fear went away. I think this is true in all areas of life. Who are you living for today beside yourself? What do you need to leave behind to make the leap of faith in a certain area of your life?
Am I still excited, OF COURSE! Am I still fearful, OF COURSE! But what meaningful job, relationship, or goal in life isn’t scary and exciting. We can’t wait to meet our baby girl. We know on any long journey we will expect detours but we will take them together one step at a time. To our future baby girl, your mommy and daddy love you. This one's for you!